Pause…..and listen

Hello All,

Hope your 4th of July was safe and fun!

I must admit that I want to put our country in timeout! I originally thought everyone should take a deep breath, but since Covid 19 is airborne, I thought that might not be my wisest choice. (And having typed that – wear your mask! It is a gift of love and protection to others!) However, I do think we need to take a pause – remember to breathe – and listen to each other.

Dean Jackson, author of The Poetry of Oneness, said “Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.” I love that thought – and using that as an excellent definition of listening, we are not doing this. Author L. J. Isham stated “Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals.”

We have to stop ranting at each other. We need to start important conversations with each other. We need to take the time to listen for understanding. I have never had your life experiences and you have never had mine, so we need to learn from each other. We need to begin to develop solutions, not in a vacuum, but with people who are  involved. And we need  to find ways to begin to pilot potential solutions and strategies. We also need to find a forum/a new strategy to share these pilot solutions that work with a much broader audience so we can emulate these best practices. And if others are already doing excellent work, then why reinvent the wheel? Let’s “borrow with dignity”!  

I will use the police as an example. As in any profession, there are sometimes people who should not be in those roles. That does not mean the whole profession is bad! I have been blessed to work with incredible police men and women who work to make their communities safer and better – who believe that the police are partners with the community members – who have literally given their lives to protect others. A noble profession of service and safety that my nephew has recently joined. I am very proud of him.

So my political disclaimer – I am not a fan of defunding the police. They serve a very valuable role in our society. I do think that as a nation as we have defunded and deprioritized mental health funding, we have made the police become de facto mental health workers. Quite frankly, a burden we should have never asked them to bear. And yes, we can teach them many techniques that will improve their responses, help deescalate tensions, and navigate difficult situations. That should never take the place of having the right partners do the job.

So we need to listen and learn from what is going on across our country. We need to find creative ways to improve the health and safety of our communities.  In Oakland, a behavioral health clinician partners with the police to respond to mental health distress calls. The mental health clinician can help assess not just the situation, but the appropriate course of action to help the individual – which may include hospitalization, or emergency referrals and evaluations, or housing. This prevents taking people to jail when jail is not the answer. This also helps our burdened jails, an environment that is also not the right place to treat mental illness. And we need to seriously lobby to make mental health a priority in healthcare.

In St. Louis, a social worker rides with the police, The Mobile Crisis Team. The whole goal is not just to calm the immediate crisis, but also to connect people with needed resources and services. Both of these partnerships utilize the strengths of each profession, expand the reach of care and service, and ultimately improve the community.

We need to find new ways to listen to the needs of our communities – the needs are there. As my mother said (many times I might add!) – I have two ears…..and only one mouth…..for a reason!

Pause. Listen. And let’s get creative!

Phyl