The Importance of Friends

Hello All,

This past Saturday I had the great pleasure of meeting an incredible group of women for lunch. We were celebrating the upcoming retirement of one of them, who has given over 45 years of service to her organization. First of all – isn’t that awesome! It is rare to see someone who has stayed with an organization for that length of time! And second, as we laughed, joked, celebrated life, and shared stories (both personal and professional – some good, some bad, some just down right funny), I marveled at what an incredible group of friends I have! These women remind me of what Marlene Dietrich said “It’s the friends that you can call up at 4:00 a.m. that matter.” These women would not only answer the call, but would get out of bed to get to each other’s side! (And that is really true about my dear friend Lora, who I have woken up more than one time in the middle of the night!)

Friends are indeed the family we choose. My oldest and dearest friend Pat has been part of my life since our nursing school days. (I know, we just barely missed having Florence Nightingale as a contemporary. WHOOPS – well, at least I just missed it! She is much younger!) We can tell all sorts of tales about the shenanigans we got into as students – and stories about our shenanigans over many years! My other dear, dear friend Ginger has been part of my life since we were both young (very young!) nursing directors at the same time in a teaching hospital.  I am quite sure the director of nursing at that time (who also became a dear friend) wondered what terror she had unleashed on the world! Both of these women have seen me through thin and thick and thin and thick (situations and my body sizes!), my cancer diagnosis and therapy, the ups and downs of life. Both of these friends, as Donna Roberts says “knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.”

It is true that friendships are the most important relationships we have in terms of health and happiness. Researchers from Michigan State University “looked at a US survey distributed among 7,481 middle-aged participants, focusing on how understood, accepted and supported by their inner circle” they felt they were. The researchers discovered that “the quality of people’s friendships appeared to have a strong affect on their wellbeing – much more that their relationships with their spouse or children.”

Why? They theorized that the family “bonds come with particular responsibilities and expectations.” Spousal relationships come with the feeling there is “an obligation to stay.” Friendships are solely joy-based!

When we look for friends we look for people with similar traits and interests, “people to whom we can reveal our realest selves without fear of judgement or rejection”. We share “triumphs and dreams”, making life easier. They add meaning to our lives – share secrets – boost self confidence. They love you just the way you are. They are both our reality check and our source of unconditional love. And as noted in Proverbs 27:9 “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.”

Though I don’t get to see my friends as often as I would like, I know that “true friends are always together in spirit.” (A quote from L. M. Montgomery.) I carry them in my heart every day.

I hope this makes you think about the friends who are important to you. Reach out and say hi. Send a text. Keep them in your prayers. Never miss an opportunity to tell them you love them. And when this pandemic is finished, give them a long, hard hug!

I will end with a famous quote from Eleanor Roosevelt – “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” 

Here’s to all of those footprints!

Phyl