The Power of a Photograph

Hello All,

Bob and his sisters have been cleaning up his parent’s home – a task filled with memories, tears, laughter and love. He brought home a number of boxes of pictures, picture albums, and slides. So he surprised me last night with this wonderful collection of pictures of us from when we started dating in 1981 through the entire 1980s. Now remember, he is a pharmacist, so, of course, the pictures were in chronological order. OMG! What a blast. Bob had hair. I still had short hair…..big, tall, short hair! (Amazing how you tall you could get short hair!) I must admit, we did spend time trying to figure out which of the hair colors on display was my true hair color! I have “adopted” so many colors over the years, we weren’t sure; though it may have been evident in pictures in 1982 or so – LOL! We were also skinny. Wonder what happened to that!

What is amazing is the ability of a photograph to transport you back in time, to remind you of what was/is important, to remind you of times that were truly simpler (though they felt complex at the time!). There were Christmas celebrations with presents that are still present in our home today. The bigger presents though were the presences around the dinner table, on vacation, at Disney World, in the front yard. There were pictures of the first condo where Bob and I lived together.  Yes, we were a titch ahead of our time, living together before marriage. That had us laughing, because though both of our parents were fine with this (they were a titch ahead of their time too), my cute little grandmother used to tell her friends that I “rented a room in Newport News”!  

Our clothes were the bomb! We often joined family events straight from work. Bob was well on his way in pharmacy leadership, so it was all suits and ties, all the time! And he has always been a tie guy – I am not quite sure what his highest number of ties actually was, but my bet would be in the hundreds! And I was bit of a clothes hound (still am, actually), and especially when I was not in my nursing uniform or scrubs – and my, my were the fashions quite something back then!

We had quite an evening reminiscing. That led to would we do it all over again? Absolutely! Would I chose nursing as a profession again? I would – it has been and still is a profession of change, perpetual learning, of skill and, as importantly, of heart. Would I marry Bob again? ABSOLUTELY! We have had and continue to have a wonderful life. Do we get on each other’s nerves from time to time? Yep – but who doesn’t? We didn’t have children of our own, but we had and still have incredible family to surround us – family both of blood and chosen. And we have our incredible adopted daughters!

Would I change anything? No. I might go back and tweak some things. I would want to right the times when my words wounded or my actions were detrimental to others. But each and every event, each and every interaction, each and every person I have met, has made me who I am today. And though I still have my workaholic ways from time to time, I am so blessed with my life. I am blessed with the life I witnessed and relived in those photographs, and with the life that plays out every day now.

The pictures also made me think about the me I was then and the me I am today. What would I say to the younger me? Trudy, my friend who typically sends me irreverent, funny memes, sent me this on the very same day from a website called “The Thinking Branch”:

“I don’t think I’d give my younger self advice…instead, I’d just walk beside her and talk to her more kindly. I’d remind her she’s worth it. I’d remind her there is beauty to be found even in the tough spots. I’d remind her often how much potential she has, and how she WILL see it fully come out one day.

I wouldn’t give her advice that would change her path, I’d just be a more positive voice walking along side her on the one she took.”

Wise words. And not just for what I could have done with the young me……but also what we can do for the  people in our lives today.

Pull out those old photographs. Treasure who you were then – and treasure who you are now. Cherish the people in those photographs, because there will be a day when those pictures and your memories are the treasures that you have of them. Laugh at the big hair – and, in my case, the equally big glasses. Remember the love.

Phyl