Topsy Turvy

Hello All,

I haven’t written in a bit. I kept hoping that the world would get less topsy turvy – that our politicians would do the work that they were elected to do, which is supposed to be the work of “we the people”….and not the “work” to make the front page and stay/become “powerful”. I thought that perhaps the leaders would be brave and truly work on laws about safe/responsible gun ownership – including a ban on assault rifles. (Though I am grateful for the progress made.) And yet we have witnessed another weekend of more senseless mass shootings and unimaginable grief. I thought the Supreme Court would support women’s rights, not eradicate them. I was hoping that with time I wouldn’t rant but would write a more uplifting message. It appears I would be waiting a long time to write if I were waiting for common sense and change. So I have decided I/we need to stand up, speak up, and advocate.

Isn’t it ironic…..whoops! Let me change that a bit because I just started to sing the Alanis Morissette song in my head.

On Monday I thought it was quite ironic that we were celebrating America’s independence while mourning the loss of women’s independence for making decisions about her own reproductive health. I know – now the states can “decide”. What a shame that women’s rights will be governed by what state she has the fortune or misfortune of living in versus those same rights recognized nationwide. What a shame it is that women’s rights have been set back so far after so many women fought to make them real. (I never thought I would see this in my lifetime.) And what a shame it is that the feedback and opinions of the majority of the people in America were ignored – and many other religions that are practiced in the U.S. lost their religious freedom.

I was in high school in 1973 when Roe vs. Wade was decided. By then I had already accompanied a friend for her backroom abortion. She made a decision after great thought – after great care – and after great debate about her life’s goals. We worried for days about her health. So you can imagine we followed this very daring and very compelling court case very closely back then.

This is not just about abortion. Being pro-choice is not defined solely by abortion. It is the fundamental right for every woman to make a decision about her own health and health care. It is the fundamental right for every woman to make a decision with the support and guidance of a physician/medical professional. It is the fundamental right to make a decision that is within her own belief system and what meets her needs.

You know, even years after Roe v. Wade was decided and the law of the land, women still struggled with reproductive choices. In 1987, when I was 31 years old, I decided to have a bilateral tubal ligation (I had my fallopian tubes “tied”). I knew at very early age that I did not wish to have children. (And BTW I love children. I love being an aunt, and that was and continues to be very important to me. I just knew that my career was very important to me too.) I was tired of taking birth control pills (and the older versions of the pill were a titch more exciting with side effects than today’s versions). I was unmarried. I was in a committed relationship. I had a heart-to-heart conversation with my Ob-Gyn. In order to be even considered for this procedure, I had to undergo a psychiatric evaluation to be sure that I “understood” the long-term impact of my decision – and I have always presumed the person wanted to ensure I was of “sound” mind. Then I had to observe a mandatory 30-day waiting period before having the procedure. I was a nurse – college educated – already leading multi-million dollar nursing units. Even today, I can hardly fathom men having to run a gauntlet like that for their reproductive choices.

We had come so far. I now worry about what is next – or who is next. How far backwards can we go?

Stay informed. Find your voice – speak out or wield your pen to make your preferences known. Vote. Let’s ensure that the women who follow us regain their freedom to make decisions about their health, their lives.

Phyl

P.S. I do not mean to offend with the use of she/her pronouns!