Life Lessons – Actually Leadership Lessons

Hello All,

The King of the Blog – Ashish – knows I love learning about life and leadership lessons – things that make me reflect – things that push me to change – and things that I can share with others. He and his team were doing work around organizational culture and found this gem, and he said he knew I would want to see it. He sent me a link to a wonderful address by Admiral William H. McRaven. Four-Star Admiral McRaven, retired, is a former Navy Seal and served as the ninth Commander of the United States Special Operations Command. He served in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan. He developed the plan and led the Osama Bin Laden mission in 2011. He was also the first director of the NATO Special Operations Forces Coordination Center. An impressive career – an impressive man!

In 2014, Admiral McRaven presented the commencement address for University of Texas at Austin (his alma mater) – “10 Life Lessons” from a Navy SEAL. (You can find his complete address on YouTube! I would highly recommend it! He also wrote a book – Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life – And Maybe The World.) Though his approach was to provide a “few suggestions that may help you on your way to a better world” from his grueling experience in Basic SEAL training, I will say that these ten lessons will also make you a better leader!

I love that the Admiral provides this information right away – “And while these lessons were learned during my time in the military, I can assure you that it matters not whether you served a day in uniform. It matters not your gender, your ethnic or religious background, your orientation or your social status. Our struggles in this life are similar and the lessons to overcome those struggles and to move forward – changing ourselves and the world around us – will apply equally to all.” I am not going to share his SEAL information about the top 10 lessons – he does that so eloquently in his speech. I will add a few thoughts about leadership with each of his lessons.

Admiral McRaven’s 10 Lessons:

1. “If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.” (Or as noted in the book – “Start Each Day with an Accomplishment”) – I have to admit this made me think of my first year in nursing school and learning how to make a hospital bed (with and without people in the bed). Just like the military – and before the luxury of fitted hospital sheets – we did have to make the bed with the end corners tucked just so…..the sheet folded in such a way that the top of the sheet lipped over the blanket…..and a quarter could indeed bounce off of it! I swear it was the first skill we learned, well before taking temperatures and blood pressures. I think the reasoning for this is exactly what Admiral McRaven says about it for the military “If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another.” As leaders this is also important – because there are days when the one task you actually did accomplish that day was to make your bed! Many of our tasks take days/weeks/months to accomplish – so you need to remember that each day lays a foundation piece – and each day after that adds to the foundation – until you reach your goal. Change, processes, culture takes time – and is accomplished with small wins every day.
2. “If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle.” (“Success in Life Requires Teamwork”) – AMEN! Admiral McRaven says “For the boat to reach its destination, everyone must paddle.” This is so true, and an absolute must for leaders to remember – you cannot do the work for your organization by yourself. It takes a team who understands the vision, who understands the mission/the work to be done, and who understands how important that each member’s contribution is. It takes a leader to provide the guidance/direction needed – to provide the tools needed – to recognize that the team is critical – to reward the team – and to thank everyone. Our work is very rarely solitary. And each of us needs people who we can count on to navigate the good and bad moments.
3. “If you want to change the world, measure the person by the size of their heart, not the size of their flippers.” (It’s What’s Inside that Counts”) – No matter your organization, no matter your role, it is, in fact, all about what is inside of you – and each of your employees. It is about the will to succeed, the knowledge that kindness matters, the commitment to do the best job possible, the desire to serve and help others. I am sure people who I worked with over the years got quite tired of me saying “I can teach skills, I cannot teach kindness” – I cannot teach heart – I cannot teach passion for the role. I can recognize it, hire it, mentor it, and cultivate it – all the roles of a good leader. As a leader, look for the heart.
4. “If you want to change the world, get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving forward.” (“A Setback is Only Permanent if You Let It Be”) – I am pretty sure I would have not enjoyed the SEAL’s version of a sugar cookie! Sand in way too many places! As a leader, sometimes the workplace or a situation is unfair. Sometimes no matter how hard you and your team work, there is not going to be a perfect outcome or end well. No matter how much work, heart and soul you put into saving a person, sometimes death will win. It is what you do after that you have control over. If there were lessons to learn – learn them. If there were things that could be done differently or resources needed – change them or obtain them. If everything was done well and you know it – and even if it wasn’t and you have work yet to do – support yourself and your team. The truth is that life sometimes is just not fair. Don’t let the setback be permanent – don’t let it weigh you down forever.
5. “If you want to change the world, don’t be afraid of the circuses.” (“Use Failure to Your Advantage”) – As a leader, every day can feel like you are the ringmaster of a 3-ring circus – or the director of a Cirque du Soleil show with a cast of what feels like thousands! And this is no secret – juggling those balls, making those calls – you will make mistakes! Goodness knows I did. Some mistakes were small; some mistakes were large. Sometimes with as much information as I could muster, I made mistakes. I could have run screaming and quit, or I could use those mistakes to push myself to do better, to try again, to make it right. I admitted when I was wrong – apologized as I needed to – learned more – and pushed myself to always improve. As a leader, you have to do this. As a leader, you also have to provide grace and help those who work with you that make mistakes, so that they can learn and grow.
6. “If you want to change the world, sometimes you have to slide down the obstacle head first.” (“Be Daring in Life”) – What a motto – Be Daring in Life. Be brave. Be fearless. Attempt something new – pilot it first maybe, but don’t stop pushing boundaries. You never know what might work if you don’t try it! I think the Admiral stated this best – “If you live in fear of failure, struggle or humiliation, you will never do what is necessary to achieve your goals or reach your potential. If you play it safe and limit your actions to mitigate failure, you will never know what you’re made of. You must be willing to push yourself to the limit to achieve something great. Dare greatly in life and receive great rewards.” And while you are doing that for yourself, also help your team do this!
7. “If you want to change the world, don’t back down from the sharks.” (“Keep Courage Close”) – Sharks don’t just swim in the ocean – there are many, many on dry land. You know them. You have either worked with them or work with them still. Be courageous. Stand up for yourself and your team. Know the rules and use them to your advantage (well, you may have to bend a rule every now and then). Speak up and out. And if it is a real water shark – hit them in the snout! (Though I would highly recommend you don’t hit the “people sharks”!)
8. “If you want to change the world, you must be your very best in the darkest moment.” (Stand Tall in the Midst of Darkness”) – This pandemic has tested the mettle of every leader. It is easy to lead in the good times – it is critical to lead, to set the example, in the darkest times. It is the time you have to be your very best self. It is the time you have to be honest, to communicate openly and a whole lot, and to be visible. It is the time when you need to provide the light on even the bleakest days. Your staff are looking to you to be there for them, to set the tone for how to act, and for you to rollup your sleeves as needed. It is the time for calm in the midst of chaos…..
9. “If you want to change the world, start singing when you’re up to your neck in mud.” (“Inspire Others with Hope”) – …..and it is also the time to give hope. Hope is a powerful gift. Hope raises people up – shares that the sun will rise – gives people the will and power to push through. Never underestimate the power of hope – it has indeed changed the world.
10. “If you want to change the world, don’t ever, ever ring the bell.” (“No Matter What, Never Give Up”) – For the SEALs, there is a bell that stands in the center of their training compound. All you need to do to quit is to ring the bell. Trust me, as a leader you have already had and will continue to have days like this. When you get there, just take one more step forward…..and then another. As one of my wisest mentors told me, “You can’t stumble if you are not moving forward.” You will stumble – we all do – and we can and will continue to move forward!

Make your bed. Build your team – and then recognize and reward their talents – and, more importantly, their hearts. Look failure in the eye – learn from it – change, if needed – and move on. Be the beacon of light in the darkness – but also recognize that there is darkness. Provide hope. Stumble. SOAR!

Phyl